Keep Your Inner Child on Reins

A winter's day in Somerset. Unaccustomed as we are to snow, the school in which I work was closed today.............so a bonus day for all the staff, not to mention the children. I got out after seeing Adam off to work (the downside of being the boss is having to set a good example to staff) with our two Jack Russells, Seamus and Finn, and my camera. We had an uplifting long walk through crisp snow and in beautiful sunshine. How wonderful the snow looks against a blue sky, and what a boost for the soul. I really am an outdoor girl, and I love nothing more than getting out and spending time in the company of nature. Cross country skiing in Norway would be my outdoor pastime of choice, but lately money is tight, so I content myself with walking Seamus and Finn along the lanes and bridleways surrounding the beautiful Somerset village in which we are blessed to live.

On the walk home, we met a mid 60s lady building a snowman in her front garden. "Good for you, find your inner child", I joshed. "It's never gone away" was her reply, and she truly had a twinkle and a wiggle. There's a lesson for us all. You don't need to spend precious time and energy searching for something valuable if you work hard to hold onto it in the first place.

If curiosity kills the cat, half the fun of Finn's day will be lost

The Lure of the Homespun Blog...Jam Tomorrow?

I've spent a good few hours reading other people's blog pages these past few days and, my goodness, aren't they all relentlessly jolly? Who is going to want to read my cathartic rantings, when they can look at pictures of cuddly kittens and the results of that day's cake baking?

I am cheered to know that even in these financially straightened times, there are still women out there free to fill their days with walks through the woods in search of yule logs, and photographing their china, and fill their houses with the smell of vanilla and eggy goodness............sourced from their own free range fowl. And, yes, I am jealous.

I do believe that inside every woman is a domestic diva who hankers over a gingham apron and a grateful man to feed at the end of the day. I also believe in every woman's right to choose the life that best suits her, but the idea of choice is a myth. The feminists of the 60s and 70s earnestly told us that we could have it all. Well we can't. Sorry, but we really can't. The reality is that modern woman, unless she can afford to hire help, works her metaphorical balls off, both at work and at home, and frequently has to stop to pick up the plates that dropped to the floor and smashed. How many of us have found ourselves fretting about collecting and feeding children when a business meeting has gone on later than anticipated? And how many of us have cried ourselves to sleep because we came home from work too tired to spend the quality time with our children that we promised ourselves would become the norm and not the occasional surprise occurrence? We spend our lives compromising and beating ourselves up for doing nothing as well as we should, or, more importantly and frustratingly, as well as we know we could.

So, yes, how great it would be to actually live the simple life that we enjoy reading about.....if only we could find enough banknotes under that yule log to pay off the mortgage and the car loan. Until then we can only dream........................which is why we love the homespun blogs so much.

When Can the Catharsis Start?

So, having started this blog as a cathartic experience whereby I can discuss and dispel the difficulties and traumas of life as a Stepmum, the cause of most of the stresses, my teenage Stepdaughter, Cathy, has amazed us all by being in an unusually sanguine mood this weekend. She arrived in her usual manner on Thursday evening, no eye contact with me, grunted forced greeting, but returned from school on Friday in a more sociable and co-operative mood, and has somehow managed to maintain this. What a difference to the atmosphere in the house.

Adam and I took off for 3 hours on Saturday afternoon to take some pictures to a framer, and then treated ourselves to a coffee in town. Those few snatched hours of one-on-one time seemed like a long weekend. We often joke about how few dates we've been on in the 19 months we've been together, but it really isn't funny at all. When his children aren't with us, we are either at work, catching up on chores or asleep. We managed 5 days away last Spring on our own, a wonderful trip to New York, and the time alone together really helped to bond us in a way that we hadn't managed before. I'm hoping that we'll be able to negotiate with their Mother for a week alone every year. While we're looking after the children, she is free to pursue weekends as a single woman, especially since she decided to evict her former fiance, who now spends the night by invitation only. Maybe she's the smart one?

Allow me to introduce myself.........

I see this blog as a cathartic experience for me. It will allow me to sound off about things (let's be honest, by that I mean grievances, frustrations and peeves) without writing them down in a diary which can be picked up around the house and read by the very people providing me with the aforementioned grievances, frustrations and peeves. As a huge internet junkie, I am also much more likely to actually get down to writing them down on a screen rather than a page, so the treatment should work faster. I'm not anticipating that anyone will actually come across this blog and read it, but just in case you do, let me introduce myself to you.

My name is Lydia and I am a 50 year old with two grown up children who have already flown the nest, living with my partner of 18 months (Adam). Fine as far as it goes, but Adam came with 4 children who live with us for half of the week, and two dogs. That, of course, makes me one of the ever growing band of Stepmums (with or without the prefix 'Wicked'). The stepchildren are Tim (16), Cathy (about to be 14), Simon (11) and Aaron (9).

They are (mostly) great children, and from reading other Stepmum's stories through support group websites, I know that I am luckier than many. However, having already raised two children through school, college and university and into adulthood, and having reached the stage where for a very brief period I had spare cash and spare time...............and all of it for me for once, my life has changed dramatically. Don't get me wrong, I love Adam. In fact, I love him more than is healthy for me, but that love has brought with it a whole heap of complexities.

This blog will describe my life and my family. Some of it might be a stream of frustration. There will be tears and tantrums, for sure. There will also be happy events, and sunny days where we all trip merrily through daisy strewn fields together (metaphorically speaking). Much of it will probably be mundane and of no interest to anyone. Nevertheless, it may do me good, and if you are also a Stepmum and have chanced upon it, it might help you to know that you are not alone, and someone else is wading through exactly the same pool of treacle.